Hi, I found this example when I Googled “poor proposal examples and here is the link These are my suggestions on how to improve this proposal:
First, it’s obvious with “Mrs. Brown’s class” written on the top right corner that this isn’t a professional proposal and is probably a middle or high school proposal. But the proposal is lacking a lot of information. What I first noticed is that this proposal does not include the name of the writer or student who is working on the project which makes it hard for the reader to identify who this proposal belongs to. Second, there isn’t a clear statement of purpose which should be under the subject heading. Merkel describes the purpose of the proposal is to describe a solution to a problem or an approach to an opportunity and propose activities that will culminate in a deliverable. Be specific in explaining what you want to do (Markel, p. 429). In this case, the writer fails to write a purpose which is currently under the “question” section on what they want to determine, which in this case is finding if temperature of a basketball affects the height of bounce.
As the variables and constants are discussed, this should be under the “Proposed tasks” and can also lead into the schedule which will help the writer stay on track (Markel, p. 441). If the writer has experience, it’s recommended to include credentials, which in this case, could be a completed past science project. It would also be helpful to include a task schedule presented as a table or some sort of chart or visual. There is not a budget which could include the cost of materials. Lastly, there are zero references added in this proposal which could include relevant literature ranging from internal reports and memos to published articles or even books, so that readers will understand the context of work (Markel, p. 429).