“Bad’ example for a business proposal

Website: https://www.counterpunch.org/2013/08/06/a-business-proposal-for-the-nsa/
Author: Sanford Kelson
Addressed to: four star General Keith B. Alexander (former Director of the NSA)

Sanford Kelson sent in August 6, 2013 a business proposal to the then Director of the NSA General Alexander. Since General Alexander worked for the US Army he was required to use a set of guidelines for his unsolicited proposal. But he did not.

Since his business proposal was very short, he did not wrote a summary in the beginning. He started with the introduction of himself: “I am a veteran of the US Army, a loyal and patriotic citizen.’ Kelson further explains his position and resulting problem and that he thinks, that the NSA has the solution for it. In an unsolicited proposal he should have identify a problem that a future buyer has. But he explained his problem: “I have caught many nice fish and may even be an above average fisherman but I am not consistently successful’. The purpose of his proposal is to use PRISM, the spy software developed by NSA, so than he will become a more successful fisherman. He also explains the background of the problem “The reason I am not regularly successful is that 90% of the fish are usually in 10% of the water and I have a really hard time finding them in that 10% with all that other water out there.’ Background information is important to understand the whole situation that lead to the problem. But he never cites any sources or references for his claim. A study and survey conducted by the fisherman’s in his area would support his claim. In return he offers to deliver fresh fish to the NSA daily: “In return, I will furnish high level NSA personnel with fresh fish flown-in on ice to NSA headquarters on a daily basis.’ He even explains his solution how to incorporate the CIA into the daily delivery: “Maybe I’d have to supply top CIA officials with fresh fish on a daily basis too, for this small task?’ Kelson goes into the details of paying percentage to the NSA when he writes books about successful fishing. He also asked to keep the details private and not to involve the CIA (scope of the deal). He switched between the organizational patterns of a proper business proposal. That he should have been more organized next time he writes a business proposal.

Overall, I do not think that this business proposal would have made his way up to General Alexander. It lacks of the proper and standardized form. It does not illustrates a need for the future project partner (NSA does not need fresh fish on the daily basis). Kelso also do not mentioned any qualification and experience for the job, and he did not include a budget (fishing gears, cost of fish, packing, supply, delivery).

~Damaris Li
PS: I am aware that this proposal is a sarcastic article.

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